Funny email

I received this email and thought it was hilarious... I didn't write any of these and cant give the person that did credit because I have no idea who it was..

Random Thoughts of the Day:

1. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.


2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.


3. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.


4. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.


5. Was learning cursive really necessary?


6. Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".


7. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.


8. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.


9. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

10. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!


11. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.


12. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.


13. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.


14. I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an unsightly woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."


15. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.


16. Bad decisions make good stories…ain’t that the truth!


17. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

18. Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?


19. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.


20. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.


21. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.


22. I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'


23. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail.


24. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.


25. When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.


26. Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...


27. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.


28. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.


29. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.


30. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

31. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

Big Break from the Blog

I have taken a long break from the blog here lately. I have really missed posting reviews of comedy. About a week ago I watched a special by John Heffron called: Middle Class Funny. The special was real funny mainly because I'm a big John Heffron fan.

See prior post about Heffron by clicking here:

The one main thing I like about the special is he does some his best hits from his early CDs. I like when comedians do a bunch of new comedy and then give you a taste of what bits made them famous. Brian Regan does this same thing where he hill do his main performance of all new stuff. Then, as an encore he comes out and takes request from the crowd of his greatest hits to perform. John Heffron is also on twitter and does update quite frequently.

Recently, I also watched the special by Jim Bruer: Let's Clear the Air. I just remember him from Half Baked with Dave Chappelle. He refers to this movie that made him famous in the special which is kinda cool. I thought the performance was kinda of dull though for some reason. I really can't give a good reason it wasn't funny but only that I didn't like it.

I also watched the special Funny People Live: which was a special about the comedians in the movie Funny People. I only watched about ten minutes of the special because it just seemed really lame and ameturish for some reason.

Well I just wanted to get on here and update the blog since its been like forever since the last post. You can follow me on twitter see link:

Transformers

TRANSFORMERS:
REVENGE OF THE FALLEN

Runtime: 150 min

Release Date: 24 June 2009

I went and watched Transformers 2 last night and it not surprising to see a packed theater of anxious fans to see this huge budget film. The movie starts off with a little tale that goes back to 17,000 BC and that the transformers have been here from the beginning. The opening shot of the past lasted about 5 seconds and then it shoots to the present. It comes to the present where Optimus Prime is helping the humans fight the decepticons all over the globe. In this movie they are really showing how much they know Megan Fox is hot. This is the opening shot that she appeared in the movie with the camera dying to see up the shorts. The weird thing about this film is how funny it was. Throughout the whole film are jokes and funny scenes and really seem to lighten the mood of the film. The funniest person is this film is the mother of Sam Witwicky played by Julie White. One of her funny scenes is her crying about her son (Sam) going off to college and she has his boots from when he was a baby around her neck. Their house gets destroyed and throughout the whole scene she is just spitting out funny line after funny line. When they get to the college she eats some weed and really becomes obnoxious and even more hilarious. Yes, Sam Witwicky goes off to college and thats when this movie becomes really confusing. Right when Sam get to college he already has a girl trying to seduce him. Right off the bat you something is different about and your just waitning to turn into a transformer. She does and its one with a very long tail and very long tongue. Wow but was she hott!!!!! I have to say one main thing about this film is that an editor would have been a good investment. The movie had a lot of pointless scenes that drug the movie out over two hours. The length would not have been so evident to me if I was able to follow it. However, the movie went from a sliver of the cube from Transformers 1 let Sam becaome a genius and see a language of the prime which were a autobot ancestor from the beginning of time. Then we go for around the world with different showing up and new robots where just a big cluster of different people and storylines. Im alone of this fact because at the end of the film it got a standing ovation in a Ms theatre which is very rare!!!!!!. Below was my favorite parts of the film.

get the point what makes this film is the new concept cars, hot women, funny script, and awesome visual effect. These points make the strange storyline take a backseat and you just sit back and enjoy the spectacle that is in front of you.

The only way this movie is to do it by

Visual Effects: 5 stars
Acting : 3 stars
Entertaining: 4 stars
storyline 2.5 stars

Average is 3.625 stars.