D's Comedy Corner: May 2009

Since my blog really doesn't have that big of a following I think I can write about my trip to New York City an no one be really disappointed. We went to New York on a family trip. The people that went was Jessica (my wife) her mom, dad, little brother, and myself. We got there Sunday, May 17, 2009, at around 1:00pm there time. As soon as we got there we got a good taxi experience. We got a taxi driver that didn't speak english which I think is pretty common in New York. Just to give an example of the cost of a taxi ride the airport was 12 miles from our hotel and it cost $32 for the taxi ride. You can ride on the metro rail all week long as much as you want for fifty dollars. Why would take a taxi well I fill you on that later. We stayed at the Hampton Inn on 31st St off of Seventh Avenue. After getting checked into our hotel we went O'Reillys to eat lunch which served Italian food. I had the Chicken Alfredo and it was the best alfredo I have ever had. Sunday we didn't have any plans just to go to Central Park and go to some Market that my wife had heard about. Well we got to central park and it was really something spectacular to see in the middle of huge city. Central Park has a lot of things to do and see. Well we didn't see much because our crew couldn't make up there minds if they wanted to see the park or find this market Jess knew about. Well they finally decided to find this Market and we asked some people where this thing was and every person had a different direction for us to find this crazy thing that I don't think existed. So after walking in circles for about an hour we finally found this blocked off little flea market that had some tents set up selling odd and end stuff to the public. My wife thought this was what she had been looking for but once we got up to it we saw that it was really just crap that no one wants. Then we saw this sign that says go inside cafeteria to see 40 more vendors and their glorious inventory. So we went to find this cafeteria and it was exactly what it said an old high school cafeteria that still had the tables with the stools connected to tables. These were used for as the setup for vendors. The 40 vendors that were in the cafeteria was also crap that no one wanted but to for me it was heaven because oh my gosh my legs hurt from all the walking. After we saw that this flea market sucked we decided to go back to the room and restup before heading to supper. Our hotel was brand new and had a great view of an office building right next door. We stayed on the 16th floor (1602) which was good but the elevator for the hotel was so slow oh my gosh. That night we went to Nic & Stephs steakhouse which was a nice steakhouse. The smallest steak they had was 16oz. Which is really ridiculous because how many people really can eat a 16oz steak without overeating and hurting the rest of the night. It was really good but pricy and the waiter was a jerk but gratutiy was included so he got his fair share. One bad thing about with a big group to a restuarant is getting the ticket right. Waiters just don't seem to be able to split a check. Most of them won't even bother splitting the check and just bring it to you. If they do split it they mix up the appetizer, food, and drink orders where its more complicated if they had not even split it up at all. Well this waiter did split it up right but when we paid he ran my card for jessica's parent and brother's meal and their card for our meal. Which sucked because their meal was about $40 more. Remember I said gratutity was included and man he better be glad. Monday, May 18, 2009 we decided to go Chinatown so we could eat some good chinese food and see the sights. Well in chinatown it was interesting because on every street corner there was somebody saying either rolex, prada, or coach over and over again. Then you would ask them what are they aree saying and they would say do you want rolex? Then they would bring out their inventory of watches. I don't wear watches so this wasn't a problem for me. I have to tell you that if you buy a knockoff brand purse in china town get ready for a ride. They make it seem like your buying drugs or something. They would give a pamplet and make you choose your purse and then they would get on the phone and call a person than you would sit there and wait forever for this guy to bring the purse that your not even sure you want. If you ask them to hurry their like cops too much undercover take time. Which is bull because in Time Square there is people selling these same purses in broad daylight.
That was interesting. My wife bought some I love new york shirts for the whole family even our dog (Stella) got one. Monday night we planned to go to a Yankees game so we had to go get some tickets and we to the Yankees store on 36th and 5th Avenue. Here we went looked at the different sections and prices for the game. We got tickets in section 209 which were in the right field section of the stadium. They were $60 a piece and if you were to go one section over it ould go up to $90 with no better of a view. Basically Yankee tickets are ridiculous priced. Anyway we went to the game and it was fun. The most interesting part was the subway ride over there. First of all the subway is system is not as easy as it seems because first you have to make sure that this subway will go where your headed then you have to make sure your on the one going either downtown or uptown. Then you have to make sure you on the Local one and not the express because the express one doesn't stop but at certain locations. The game was @ 7:05 so we were trying to get there about a hour early so we left our hotel right at 5:00p. We didn't even think about it but that was of course 5 o' clock traffic and the subway was full of people. Well I got the unlucky option of having a little boy squooshed into my crouch the whole way to the game. Which is good because I had on my to-do checklist have a subway experience and that certainly was a subway experience. We finally go to the game and it was so crowded and busy. We got to the gate and they wouldn't let us in because we had bookbags so we had to go find a stand that you had to pay $7 to watch your bag for the duration of the game. Isn't that amazing that someone is making a living off watching bags while people go to a baseball game. The game was good we got to see back to back home runs in the first inning. Yankees won 7 to 6 beating the Minnesota Twins. Tuesday, May 19, 2009 we went to on a New York TV and Movie Tour which took you to famous sites in Manhatton that had been filmed in movies and television. We saw the arch, cosby house, friends building, and other famous locations. We had a cool guide but he was a little obsessed with how television manipulates new york city in their movies. Things normal people would never notice this guy notices and it kinda of neat and wierd all at the same time. He also told to be on the lookout for green little poster signs that were filming permits. These permits shows which movies or shows would be filiming in that location and times. We saw some Sesame Street Movie filming and they were looking for extras with lots of hand bags. Which is kinda of a wierd description but maybe they were teaching kids the word B-A-G or something. That night we wanted to go see a play on broadway so we went to Times Square to buy a ticket. We wasn't sure what we wanted to see so Jess and her mom went to talk to a broadway promoter about which shows were a must see. While we were in Times Square we saw the naked guitar cowboy guy that is on the Today show all the time. I told Jess' little brother to take a picture but he was like who cares about him and I said I bet your mom wants a picture. Needless to say I was right once we told her that we saw him she was like where, where is he???!!! Also in Time Square a guy from The Late Show with David Letterman came up to us offering us free tickets to Wedesday's taping. All we had to do was answer a question to the about the show. We got it right and got tickets for the show. The play we got tickets to is "Reasons to be pretty." The main character in Coyote Ugly was in the play, Piper Perabo. Click on here for a review by a pro on the play. For me it was really intense and had a whole lot of bad language in it. Which for me to say that means it really had a lot of bad language in it. However, over all it was a good play. That night we also got tickets to the HA Comedy Club to see some small time comics do their jokes. Well we had six different comedian do our show. The best out all six was Kenny Ortega. His comedy reminded me of Ralphie May's comedy. He was a large man so he told a lot of fat jokes but overall he had no competition that night. It was really interesting to see that becuase you could tell these comedians were working out material and not professionals the way the told some of their jokes. One guy would pause between each of his jokes and look off into the distance and totally lose the crowd everytime he did it. It was so painful to watch him which made Kenny's set even better after getting past silent guy. The tickets were only $10 but you had to buy a minimum of 2 things off the menu and a 16% gratutity was also thrown in so really it more like a $40 ticket.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009 we took a trip to to see Ground Zero and the statute of Liberty. Once we got the Grond Zero was basically just a construction site. It was blocked off by a fence and the memorial was taken down because of the construction. We did see one memorial for the fireman that died on the back of one the fire stations right next to Ground Zero. On the way to the ferry we saw the famous bull statute. My wife took a picture with its balls which is really wierd. I would have put her pictures on here but she wouldn't let me. We took the Staten Island Ferry to see the statute of liberty. From the Ferry the statute looks really small so if take it make sure you have a high power lens camera. Oh here is funny story about me and my dumb butt at the ferry. On the way into the ferry there was this basketball team trying to raise money for uniforms. Well they were selling starburst and M&Ms for money. They were trying to sell 4 M&M packs for $20 which amounted to $5 a pack. Well the girl came up to me and said hey man whats up don't you want to help a girl out. I said I want just one and I gave a $20 and she handed me four M&Ms and walked away and before I could say anything a guy from the guys team walked up and wanted me to buy 4 starburst packs for $20. Well, I called him a leach and still gave him $20 to get out of my face. So lets break it down I paid $40 for 8 packs of candy. But hey it was for a good cause. Looking back on it I just laugh and promise myself that I will never do something that stupid ever again. After we got off the ferry we had to hurry because we had to be at the Ed Sullivan Theatre at 2:00 to pick up our David Letterman tickets. The David Letterman Show was very interesting because you had to be there at 2 to get the tickets that you already had reserved then you had to show back up at 3:30 to get pepped up and go into the theatre. Then the taping was from 4:30 to 5:30. Basically this taping takes up close to 4 hours of your time by the time you get the tickets, go into the theatre, and watch the taping. If you do go to a taping get ready to clap because basically you will be applauding the entire show. We were real excited about the show becaue Stephen Colbert was going to be on the show. I wanted to so bad to see his show but the book we read made it out like it was almost impossible to get ticket to his show that we didn't even try. This turned out great for us that we were going to be able to get to see him and David Letterman all at the same time. It was a really cool experience to see how they through a television show together like that. After the show we went and ate at Bubba Gump Shrimp. I like the restuarant but it was annoying that it seemed liked every school in town was having some kind of junior high party here for some reason. I guess they were celebrating being out of school because of the swine flu. After eating we went to the ESPN zone and went up the third floor and played in the arcade room. This was awesome because we got left while the ladies went shopping. Thusday, May 21, 2009 the ladies went to the Today Show. I didn't go because they got up at like 4 o' clock in the moring to go get in line.
After that we had to get our bags packed and head back to the Hospitality state.

Good thing to remember when going to New York is to take Baby Powder. Lots and lots of baby powder.

Funniest thing that happened while we were there was one night on the subway a homeless man got on there that only had one tooth. He stood in the middle of the train and yelled outload "Ladies and Gentlemen, I do not mean to disturb you but I need some support. The only gift I have to give is my voice and I would love to sing you a song." Then he starts singing a song to my wife and my wife covers her nose because of the smell of this man. I am over there laughing so hard I can't stand myself. However, the man did get some money from other tourist so I guess it does pay off to do his little routine. After we got off of the train he got arrested for either disturbing the peace or for his smell.